Life After Loss – It’s Okay Not To Be Okay

Life After Loss – It’s Okay Not To Be Okay

A few days ago when I was talking to a new friend about my Hawaii trip, she suddenly asked me “Were you scared of traveling alone?” I paused and answered “Of course I was.” I was surprised by the question. This conversation made me realize that I need to show you the whole story, the not just the brave and pretty parts.

Life After Loss It's Okay Not To Be Okay

I never intended to be brave, or to be an inspiration. Really, I would rather be someone who still has loving parents and a loving spouse, but it seems like I am out of luck in that department. Life just keeps testing me and I am just trying to survive. I’m often scared, sad, angry, confused and crying, just like everybody else who is going through the grieving process.

Life After Loss It's Okay Not To Be Okay

I purposely block out the last week of my husband’s life from my memory. It is just too painful to think about at this moment. Someday, I will revisit those dark days when I feel I am ready. I often cry and talk to my husband’s ashes. I lay my head on his ashes box and feel like that is his warm chest. I was crying 4 days in a row when I was cleaning up my husband’s car and traded it in. I even couldn’t help but cry at the dealership. I’m pretty sure I thoroughly scared the sales guy. 😉

Life After Loss It's Okay Not To Be Okay

Then the night before my Hawaii trip, I was crying for more than half an hour. I was scared about the trip because I have never traveled alone in this country by myself. I was also very sad that he always wanted to show me Hawaii, but now it is just me. Like you have read in my previous posts, I had a very tough first 3 days of this trip and of course I cried a lot again.

Life After Loss It's Okay Not To Be Okay

The day I was back home, I opened a package I received from my family. I was crying instantly again. It was an amazing painting of my man. The painting looks so real and his facial expression just so lively, it’s like he is there looking at me. I am crying even right now when I am typing this post.

Life After Loss It's Okay Not To Be Okay

I think you have seen millions of times I use “cry” in this post. Okay, a million might be an exaggeration, but it’s in here a lot. My point is, it is okay not to be okay for a while. It’s okay for a while that this is the new normal for me after my husband passed away. I am scared, I struggle, I cry quite often. I give myself permission to sometimes not be okay, or even cry in public if I need to. I don’t think crying is a sign of weakness, it is a way of surviving for me, just like you sweat when you’re running, I sometimes cry just to survive. I am crying because I need to let it all out and so I will have the ability to move forward.

Life After Loss It's Okay Not To Be Okay

Let’s use Jessie J’s song finish this post:

It’s okay not to be okay.
……
Tears don’t mean you’re losing, everybody’s bruising,
Just be true to who you are!

Life After Loss It's Okay Not To Be Okay

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Photo credits: Ashley Buck.

Thank you for reading, and if you like what you read, please comment below or share it with your friends. Don’t forget to follower me on FaceBook and Twitter for new post updates, and follow me on Instagram for all the amazing fashion, beauty and life style products that I will share with you, of course don’t forget to check out my Instagram story daily to know me better as a person. Finally don’t forget to follow me on YouTube for my fashion, beauty and life style videos. Have a great day and see you soon!

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Grace

http://colorandgrace.com occasionally receives vendor/ brand sponsorships for mentioning their products and services.

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My Anti-Aging Secret Cellular Repair Night Serum from Bellatorra

My Anti-Aging Secret Cellular Repair Night Serum from Bellatorra

Today is a very special day for me. It is the 10th anniversary of me moving to the U.S.A. There were so many things that have happened in my life in the last 10 years. I got married, had my first house, learned English, learned driving, learned American culture, got my own family, got my teaching certificate, got a full time teaching job, became a blogger, and now I’ve become single again since my husband passed away. But when I look at myself in the mirror, it seems like it’s still 10 years ago, and I’m the same me who stepped out the Detroit airport with excitement and anxiety for my unknown future. The only difference now is, I do know how that future ended.

My Anti-aging Secret Cellular Repair Night Serum from Bellatorra

There are a lot of people who can’t believe I am already 43 years old. 😉 Me either. I was used to an ugly duckling before my 30s. I looked like I was 40 years old when I was in my late 20s. I’m not joking, I felt horrible about myself. I didn’t do anything with my skin because I didn’t believe I could look better. That was until a girl tried to sell me some expensive skin care products. I couldn’t believe how persistent she was, and I ended up buying something to get rid of her. Now, more than a decade later, I really want to say “thank you” to her.

My Anti-aging Secret Cellular Repair Night Serum from Bellatorra

After I saw the difference in my skin and how I looked, I realized that I needed to take care of my skin and it will show me how good/young it can be. From that moment forward, I spent more time and money on my skin care routine and products. I read somewhere that your skin will most likely stop aging, or slow down the aging process, when you really start to take care of it. I guess that is why I look like I’m 10 years younger. I am the living proof for this saying. 😉

My Anti-aging Secret Cellular Repair Night Serum from Bellatorra

If you are like me and you’ve already reached the big 4-0 in your life, proper skin care should be a top priority when it comes to retaining your youthful appearance. You know that achieving the perfect look takes some time, money and patience. So don’t tell me you don’t have time or will not spend that much money. No investment, no rewards. 😉

My Anti-aging Secret Cellular Repair Night Serum from Bellatorra

Recently I discovered Bellatorra Skin Care. It claims it can help you get your skin in perfect shape. I am currently using the Cellular Repair Night Serum and I have to say, this is some really good stuff. Here is how their website describes this product: “A targeted fortyeight hour time-release serum provides intense repair and hydration benefits. It effectively delivers encapsulated ingredients of Retinol, Glycolic Acid and Sodium Hyaluronate to the deepest layers of the skin. This powerful overnight serum restores the communication process between different parts of the skin and regenerates, repairs, plumps and moisturizes from within.”

My Anti-aging Secret Cellular Repair Night Serum from Bellatorra

Honestly I don’t know a lot of the words above but I do know, after just one use, my skin was glowing! You probably already read about my Hawaii trip, I had a great time but I noticed my skin was damaged by the sun and lack of sleep. You can see the photo I took on my last day before I went to the airport. My skin looked dull and there were more wrinkles. 😉

My Anti-aging Secret Cellular Repair Night Serum from Bellatorra

The other photos you see in this post are from just one week after returning from my trip. I wore the same top so you can get a better idea of the improvement of my skin. I have been using this Cellular Repair Night Serum every night. Other than the glow of my skin, I also noticed my pores are getting smaller too. This leaves my skin more even and smooth. Overall, I looked a couple of years younger.

My Anti-aging Secret Cellular Repair Night Serum from Bellatorra

Bellatorra Skin Care uses proprietary nanotechnology (Torra 48) to release the active ingredients in its anti-aging lotions and serums over a 48-hour period. The slow penetration of vitamins, minerals, and plant stem cells into the deepest layers of skin is designed to provide long-lasting, skin-soothing benefits.

My Anti-aging Secret Cellular Repair Night Serum from Bellatorra

I have no clue how this serum works from a science point of view, but I’m kind of thinking it repaired my skin and restored using its own power, so my skin can drink or eat all the good stuff I am putting on.;) Want to win the war against anti-aging? Try this Cellular Repair Night Serum. I am very happy with the results.

My Anti-aging Secret Cellular Repair Night Serum from Bellatorra

My Anti-aging Secret Cellular Repair Night Serum from Bellatorra

Photo credits: Ashley Buck.

Thank you for reading, and if you like what you read, please comment below or share it with your friends. Don’t forget to follower me on FaceBook and Twitter for new post updates, and follow me on Instagram for all the amazing fashion, beauty and life style products that I will share with you, of course don’t forget to check out my Instagram story daily to know me better as a person. Finally don’t forget to follow me on YouTube for my fashion, beauty and life style videos. Have a great day and see you soon!

|SHOP MY LOOK:|

|TODAY’S LINKUP PARTY:|


Grace
http://colorandgrace.com occasionally receives vendor/ brand sponsorships for mentioning their products and services.

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