Life After Loss 10 Year Wedding Anniversary Without Him
How is your new life in heaven? Is everyday just like vacation? I can imagine you are either holding your beer joking around with your old and new friends, or napping on the beach. But I know, you would rather stay with me, with our family.
We used to send emails to each other all the time when we first met many years ago. Do you remember? I am still surprised that you could stand my horrible grammar and broken sentences. But you had always been so patient with me and never showed any frustration with my limited English those many years ago. Through those letters, we got to know each other and I felt I had already known you for my whole life since the very beginning. So, for our 10 year wedding anniversary on 6/18, I am going to write you a letter, just like before.
Right after you passed away, your sister, Penny, thanked me very much for making you the happiest man on Earth over the last 10 years. I told her those 10 years were the best time of my life as well. There were so many evenings we were having delicious dinners, wine and holding hands telling each other how lucky we both were to be husband and wife. Yes, we were quite cheesy. 😉
Man, thank you so much for surprising me with my Chinese friend showing up on our wedding day. You knew that none of my side of the family could make it to our wedding and you wanted to bring a little bit of China home to me. You tried so hard to invite our Chinese friends to our wedding in America. You were always so good at surprising me, like the big surprise party on my 40th birthday. I planned to give you one this year on your birthday as well but I didn’t get the chance.
I am doing ok. Most of days I am pretty good, but there are some other days I am a hot mess. Can you believe I cried at work a few days ago? I have never done that before in my whole life. I guess now I have a new record. 😉 I am trying very hard to keep our little house and big yard in order. We got a new roof and our pool got a new surface. Now we are all working on your life celebration party as you requested. I know there must be a lot of beer, wine and laughter, no tears. I will remember, sir.
Everyone says the first year of being a widow is the hardest, I am not even half a year there yet so I don’t really know. But I do know it sucks and I am very good at crying in public now. Do you remember how I used to having trouble crying? It certainly is not the case now. I am an expert at crying in recent months. 😉 There are many milestones in the first year of being alone and I have survived – Valentine’s Day, my birthday, the anniversary I came to America to marry you, and your birthday. Now our wedding anniversary is just around at the corner. I have no clue what I am going to do without you and how big of a mess I will be. But I will live, like usual. Wish me luck man!
I miss you sooooo much and love you forever!
Your trouble wife, Grace
Photos credited: Grace Liang
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