This is a sponsored post in collaboration with Macy’s.
Right after my late husband passed away, I went to see a grief psychologist. I knew I needed help. After a few sessions, my psychologist was quite happy with my grieving progress, but he noticed my damaged childhood. He asked more questions and I just totally lost it. I had cried so hard that I almost choked myself when I was trying to tell him all my memories of my unloving mom.
I have lived in America for 11 years; my mom has never called me or visited me. She doesn’t remember my birthday or any other special dates. I was always the trouble kid in her eyes as far back as I can remember. It is simply because I am a girl. No matter how hard I tried to be the best student at my school, she would take the praise I got from teachers and turn them around and tell everyone that I was a lazy, ugly, and unlikable person. She certainly knew how to be a mom and how to love her kid since she had given everything she could to my older brother, just not to me.
Just like any unloved daughter, at some point in our adult lives, we have to make a choice to salvage some kind of relationship from the wreckage or to simply give up and move on. Neither choice is a spur-of-the-moment decision, but it is usually preceded by years of going back and forth between the alternatives. About 8 months after my man was gone there was one night I was just an emotional wreck. I was so angry because I needed a mom to just be there for me, even just once during the hardest time of my life, but she still hadn’t called me at all. I called her, but she was not home and my brother answered. I told him “If she will not apologize to me, then I don’t need a mom anymore.”
This opened the communication door for us eventually. Long story short, after many ups and downs, tears and arguments, she finally said sorry. I also realized that my mother tried the best she knew how, but she was crippled by the culture and the cycle of violence from her mom. This past February, I went back to China and spent the longest time with her since I became an adult. I had run away from her after I graduated from high school. She became much softer and all she did when I was there was cook the best meals for me. YES! After 44 years, I finally got my mom back!!!
I have had the same one for quite a while and took it back to China with me. My mom had mentioned a few times that she loved the smell. I have to say, this fragrance lives up to the name “Because It’s You”! It is so intoxicating and it lingers on and on. Each time someone was near me, that person would say “Because it’s you and it smells so good” Lol! My mom should receive this right before Mother’s Day. I can’t wait to answer her call and hear what she is going to say. 😉
I am the lucky one that got my mom back. As I have told many people, I am totally at peace now. I know this holiday, like many others, can bring so many emotions and stress out in us. No matter what, I wish you a peaceful day!
Photo credit: Grace Liang/@revanhermiz
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