Category Archives: Life after Loss

Life After Loss Dream Big and Believe In It

Life After Loss Dream Big and Believe In It

It has been more than 9 months since my husband passed away. I had a super long week, so last Friday I cooked myself a nice dinner and decided to give myself a break by not turning on my computer. Instead, I watched a Chinese movie. It was just a typical chick flick and was based on a couple who met, but, for whatever reasons, couldn’t be together in 3 life times. I have read some articles about reincarnation before and that evening I just kept thinking of my man. Was he already starting his next life? Will he try to find me? This life is still too long for me and I really wanted to follow him to wherever he is. I was crying non-stop for about an hour that evening.

Life After Loss Dream Big And Believe In It

I felt comfort when I thought about ending my life and going to the next life with my man together. It felt good and safe to know that I know he will be there for me. Later I suddenly realized I slipped into that black hole again and I knew I needed to stop thinking like that right away. That black hole of deep sorrow was taking over and controlling me. It made me bitter and didn’t care about anything. I needed to look away and look further in the future, to see my hopes and dreams again.

Life After Loss Dream Big And Believe In It

No matter where you’re from, your dreams are valid. My life has totally proved this idea. If I didn’t have some big and wild dreams when I was young, I could have been an unattractive middle-aged women who already totally gave up on looking good or feeling good because life is tough. I’d probably have a minimum wage job, and be living with an abusive husband with no skills or ability to live on my own. I have seen many of my childhood friends in China who are living like this right now. It just makes me feel so thankful for all the risks that I have taken and all the wild dreams that I have pursued.

Life After Loss Dream Big And Believe In It

If your dreams don’t scare you, then they’re not big enough. So, let’s all take a few days to just dream big. In the next 10 years, where is the dream place that you would love to live? What would your dream house would look like? What is your dream job or business? What type of people you will surround yourself with? Dream big and see those dreams as clearly and vividly as you can. Write them out in great detail!

Life After Loss Dream Big And Believe In It

The only thing holding you back from a better and happier life is yourself. We can be our own worst enemies in so many ways, especially when we don’t believe wholeheartedly in ourselves. We need to not just dream big, but believe it in too! Hold tight to those dreams, knowing that we can and will do anything in our power to make them a reality. We need to have wild visions of our life that we know we are destined to live, even if we are not living it today, in this very moment. In 3 years, you will start to see it if you work for it. Remember, your current life is the result of your decisions that you made 3 years ago. So dream big and make the right decisions. 😉

Life After Loss Dream Big And Believe In It

I believe it with all my heart that when I move out of a bad place in my life, I will be a better and stronger person. I have been tested, tutored and beat up, but I am still able to look darkness in the eye and tell it, “I will win!” Yes, life can seemingly suck at times. It can put you in a bubble of negative energy if you let it. You must break through the negativity, and work towards building something new so that you can find the positive energy and understand that all those tough situations are temporary.

Life After Loss Dream Big And Believe In It

You can read all Life After Loss series here and Living with Cancer series here.

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Photo credit: Grace Liang/Ashley Buck

Thank you for reading, and if you like what you read, please comment below or share it with your friends. Don’t forget to follow me on Facebook and Twitter for new post updates, and follow me on Instagram for all the amazing fashion, beauty and life style products that I will share with you. Of course, don’t forget to check out my Instagram stories daily to know me better as a person. Finally, don’t forget to follow me on YouTube for my fashion, beauty and life style videos. Have a great day and see you soon!

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Grace

http://colorandgrace.com occasionally receives vendor/ brand sponsorships for mentioning their products and services.

Life After Loss Fixing Mistakes and Adjusting Directions

Life After Loss Fixing Mistakes and Adjusting Directions

A few weeks ago I opened the door for dating, but it didn’t go very smoothly. I have to admit there were a lot of emotional ups and downs because I am just not ready. My phone screen is still a photo of my late husband and I. I haven’t touched his closet at all. There is nothing that has changed in our house since he passed away. I thought I had been doing so well with grieving that I could push myself more quickly into the next stage. I now know the grieving step needs a much longer time to get out of. It is good to have boundaries and admit what I am able to do, and what I am not able to do.

Life After Loss Fixing Mistakes and Adjusting Directions

I have experienced some horrible feelings in last few weeks about myself. I felt guilty for all the time I thought about dating and I felt ashamed. I also felt I was not good enough to get the life I want. I am very confused why it seemed so easy for my man to understand me, but in others eyes I am needy and dramatic. After I finally admitted that I am rushing myself again, I felt better. Yes, I made a mistake and I am going to fix it.

Life After Loss Fixing Mistakes and Adjusting Directions

So I did a lot of self-reflection. The things I learned from my rushing into trying to date are very valuable for me. This mistake made me rediscover myself and realized that I am being too pushy, again. I also realized that there is no need to beat myself up because others behavior or opinions. Recently the song “According to You” came into my head quite often. It is a great song to teach us that, if he is Mr. Right, all your flaws would be cute little charms – just like how I felt when I was with my man. I felt I was just so perfect and wonderful.

Life After Loss Fixing Mistakes and Adjusting Directions

If a man can’t make me feel at my best, that means we don’t have the same values and standards. He would not be the right one for me. It has nothing to do with who is right or who is wrong. I am very picky about love and that was why I waited 30 years to finally meet my late husband. So this time, I should not force it to happen either. If it naturally happens, I will just let it happen. If not, I have so many important things to focus on. Things like my blogging career, my fashion designer dreams, my fitness goals, and my plans to travel around the world.

Life After Loss Fixing Mistakes and Adjusting Directions

After clearing my mind and picking myself up again, I am so much happier now because I can see what is more important to me at this point and what I need to do to make my dreams come true.

Life After Loss Fixing Mistakes and Adjusting Directions

You can read all Life After Loss series here and Living with Cancer series here.

Life After Loss Fixing Mistakes and Adjusting Directions

|SHOP MY LOOK:|

Photo credit: Grace Liang/Ashley Buck

Thank you for reading, and if you like what you read, please comment below or share it with your friends. Don’t forget to follow me on Facebook and Twitter for new post updates, and follow me on Instagram for all the amazing fashion, beauty and life style products that I will share with you. Of course, don’t forget to check out my Instagram stories daily to know me better as a person. Finally, don’t forget to follow me on YouTube for my fashion, beauty and life style videos. Have a great day and see you soon!

|TODAY’S LINKUP PARTY:|


Grace

http://colorandgrace.com occasionally receives vendor/ brand sponsorships for mentioning their products and services.

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