Category Archives: Life after Loss

Life after loss—The signs of him

Life after loss—The signs of him

Two days ago was the one month anniversary of my man passing away. I was quite busy that day and I tried not to think too much. When I pulled up to my friend’s driveway for dinner, I suddenly heard a new song and I just sat there and listened to it for a full 3 minutes. It is from the band called “Train.” It is the first pop music band my husband ever loved. He was an old time rock and roll guy for many years. The song is called “You Better Believe” and a few lines are below.

Life after loss---The signs of him

You better believe, you better believe
Like my father said to me
“Just give it some time, look for a sign
And you’ll be just fine”

They say that nothing lasts forever
They say that good times fade away
And I know, I know that sometimes it ain’t easy
But I know you’ll be okay

One day I’ll see you in the future
You’ll have a family of your own
I will be there, I will be there to be your teacher
You better believe, you better believe you’re not alone

Life after loss---The signs of him

I was smiling and crying at the same time when I was listening to this song. I know it was my man talking to me.

Do you believe even after death your loved one lives on? I have started to believe it.

Life after loss---The signs of him

One day I was sitting on my couch and searching through Neflix. My music was still playing on the Echo. I suddenly thought about my man and wondered how he was doing. Then I heard the lyric “I am all right. I am all right.” Perfect! Thank you so much honey for answering my questions!

Life after loss---The signs of him

Then another night, I finished my delicious Chinese leftovers for dinner And I was cleaning up in the kitchen. Some upbeat music started and I just couldn’t help but to start dancing. Suddenly I noticed my dining room chandelier flickered a few times. I know my man must be very happy to see me dancing again and he probably was even dancing with me. We are both pretty bad at dancing but we did enjoy it together all the time.

Life after loss---The signs of him

I asked him to come to me in my dreams, and he did. I saw him and my deceased grandpa walk in at the same time. I told him I miss him so much. And he said “I miss you so much too!” So I asked him “Can you visit me more often?” He answered “Yes, but not in the mornings.” I was like “Why? Are you working in the mornings?” I was laughing with his answer and I woke up. Darn!

Life after loss---The signs of him

A few weeks ago, I was at my co-workers’s house. We had a ladies night out that day. She has two super cute cats. One is just like the Garfield cat in the cartoon movie. She said both of them are anti-social. They have never been close to anybody other than her. But Garfield kept walking around me, and then he finally made it to my lap. Everybody was so surprised to see him choosing me and just sat there letting me pet him the whole evening. Everybody said I should adopt a cat. But somehow I felt that was my man coming to spend some time with me.

Life after loss---The signs of him

Life after loss---The signs of him

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Photo credits: Ashley Buck.

Thank you for reading, and if you like what you read, please comment below or share it with your friends. Don’t forget to follower me on FaceBook and Twitter for new post updates, and follow me on Instagram for all the amazing fashion, beauty and life style products that I will share with you, of course don’t forget to check out my Instagram story daily to know me better as a person. Finally don’t forget to follow me on YouTube for my fashion, beauty and life style videos. Have a great day and see you soon!

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Meet our co-host Rania from The Wardrobe Stylist


Rania’s Biography:
Branding herself The Wardrobe Stylist, Rania began styling and blogging nearly a decade ago. She worked with a long list of clients and as a blogger, she covered several coveted events. She recently launched the Reversible Pocket Square. Made from 2 distinct fabrics, the reversible pocket square takes a modern and innovative shift on the age old accessory, allowing the wearer to choose which side to showcase or have both sides conveniently peak through.

Please visit her or follow her on your favorite social medias below:
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Bloglovin:
Google +:


Grace
http://colorandgrace.com occasionally receives vendor/ brand sponsorships for mentioning their products and services.

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Life after loss—Remembering Him with Honor and in Gratitude

Life after loss—Remembering Him with Honor and in Gratitude

β€œWhere you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.”

β€” Edna St. Vincent Millay

Life after loss---Remembering Him with Honor and in Gratitude

It has been almost one month since my man passed away. I was in those holes more and more often recently. I thought I was brave enough to handle it. I also thought we prepared enough so I would be ok. I find myself talking to his ashes, or just the air more and more often. I was so used to sharing every little detail of my life with him.

Life after loss---Life after loss---Remembering Him with Honor and in Gratitude=

Like right now, I want to tell him how grateful I am because the love I got from my family, friends, students, co-workers and all the other nice people in my life. I also want to tell him that I didn’t use GPS today going to our favorite restaurant. I know he would be so proud of me. πŸ™‚

Life after loss---Life after loss---Remembering Him with Honor and in Gratitude

But it is just me talking, no response at all.

Life after loss---Life after loss---Remembering Him with Honor and in Gratitude

Those monologues usually quickly turn into crying, sometimes big, sometimes small. I never even knew I had that many tears in me. Then it becomes anger. The final stage is me trying to remember what he used to say when I was crying. He always knows what to say or to do to make me feel better. But now, I know I need to pick myself up and move forward, even if it’s just a little and even if it may feel like I’m going backwards.

Life after loss---Life after loss---Remembering Him with Honor and in Gratitude

The last few weeks I felt like he just went on a business trip and he will be showing up someday. But slowly I realized deep down he is gone, forever. And those realizations hurt so much!

Life after loss---Life after loss---Remembering Him with Honor and in Gratitude

I survived Valentine’s Day. I didn’t cry, I wasn’t even moody. And one day I suddenly noticed when I looked at his photo, I didn’t cry, I smiled. A few evenings ago, I suddenly came to a conclusion. His physical body is gone, but his love surly is still with me. Now I can let his life continue through my eyes, my heart and my life! I noticed I had a giant smile on my face when I thought about this. And I feel there is a door towards happiness that just suddenly opened to me. Yes, this is not just my life now, it is still ours, together in a different way!

Life after loss---Life after loss---Remembering Him with Honor and in Gratitude

Several days ago, I went out to see some friends. I ordered some moscato wine for myself. I even asked where I can buy it for later. This was something normally my husband would do. It feels so good to know that I am trying new things that he may enjoy. I even tried to be a smarty pants during my work meeting because that was what he used to do, a lot. Everybody remembers his quick wit.

Life after loss---Life after loss---Remembering Him with Honor and in Gratitude

I met up with a new friend. After we met, she told me that she was worried that I may have cried and the whole evening would have been filled with tears, but I was totally fine because I can see my man’s smiling face in my head all the time. When you really love someone, you want to honor that person with what they want. He wanted me, and my family, to continue to enjoy our lives, and that is what we are doing.

Life after loss---Life after loss---Remembering Him with Honor and in Gratitude

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. But love leaves a memory no one can steal.”

-From a tombstone in Ireland

“What we have once enjoyed we can never lose; all that we deeply love becomes a part of us.”

-Helen Keller

Photo credits: Christa Robinson.

Thank you for reading, and if you like what you read, please comment below or share it with your friends. Don’t forget to follower me on FaceBook and Twitter for new post updates, and follow me on Instagram for all the amazing fashion, beauty and life style products that I will share with you, of course don’t forget to check out my Instagram story daily to know me better as a person. Finally don’t forget to follow me on YouTube for my fashion, beauty and life style videos. Have a great day and see you soon!

|SHOP MY LOOK:|

|TODAY’S LINKUP PARTY:|

Meet our co-host Rania from The Wardrobe Stylist

Rania’s Biography:
Branding herself The Wardrobe Stylist, Rania began styling and blogging nearly a decade ago. She worked with a long list of clients and as a blogger, she covered several coveted events. She recently launched the Reversible Pocket Square. Made from 2 distinct fabrics, the reversible pocket square takes a modern and innovative shift on the age old accessory, allowing the wearer to choose which side to showcase or have both sides conveniently peak through.

Please visit her or follow her on your favorite social medias below:
Instagram:
Bloglovin:
Google +:


Grace
http://colorandgrace.com occasionally receives vendor/ brand sponsorships for mentioning their products and services.

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