Category Archives: Life after Loss

LIFE AFTER LOSS – ELEVEN YEARS IN AMERICA

Yesterday was 11 years anniversary of me started my new life in America. I had been blue for about a week prior to yesterday. It wasn’t just because I came to the U.S.A to marry my late husband and now he has gone. But also there were some bad news from my family in China. One of my mom’s sister which we are very close to, is dying. She was crying everyday because she regret that she has not enjoyed life for a single day and now she has no days left. Then one of my dad’s sister just suddenly died in a traffic accident. We have seen each other quite often. She even named me. But for some reasons, she has always been that person who was not so worthy for others. There was no one really cared about her. What is the purpose of life? I couldn’t stop thinking the past week.

LIFE AFTER LOSS – ELEVEN YEARS IN AMERICA

I knew I need to do something to make this special day not feeling so heavy, or painful anymore. I want to add some new hopeful meanings to this. But I didn’t know what, or how. The only thing I knew, was I need to go back to that bubbly myself somehow. Recently the way I cheer myself up, has been listening to random motivational videos on Youtube. A few mornings ago, I encountered one of Oprah’s old shows and she was talking about the book/Movie called The Secret. I couldn’t stop watching more and more about this topic on Youtube everyday. And finally on this very special day of my life, 4/19, the anniversary of me moving to America, I figured out what my life purpose is.

LIFE AFTER LOSS – ELEVEN YEARS IN AMERICA

If you have read About Me, you probably already knew all of my struggles from my childhood. My late husband was the first person who ever said I AM BEAUTIFUL. His unconditional love had opened the door of empowering and helped me to see the real me, who is worthy, smart, hardworking, caring and BEAUTIFUL. But he didn’t complete me. The journey of grieving has completed me. I am at peace with myself, and with the world most of the time. But I still don’t know what my life purpose is about.

LIFE AFTER LOSS – ELEVEN YEARS IN AMERICA

I don’t have a religion, but I consider myself is very spiritual. I have seen signs here and there in my life from the greater power above us, especially after my man passed away. But I still don’t know what he wants me to do and why he put me through all of these life crashes. Then yesterday morning, on this very special day, I got my answer. He put me through all the pain, because he wants me to understand other’s pain deeply. Just like the weird thing always happen to me when I am close to 911 site in NYC. I just couldn’t help tearing up. Now I know, he sent my late husband to my life, to let me experience what the unconditional love is, so I could learn and continue to give it to myself, and others.

LIFE AFTER LOSS – ELEVEN YEARS IN AMERICA

Then he took him away from me. Because he wanted me to discover the greater love, the love to myself, to others without any condition. Now I finally understand my life purpose, it is to give, and to serve, by just being the real me and telling my stories.

LIFE AFTER LOSS – ELEVEN YEARS IN AMERICA

You can read all the Life After Loss series here and Living with Cancer series here.

LIFE AFTER LOSS – ELEVEN YEARS IN AMERICA

Photo credit: Grace Liang/@sexytoalluring

Thank you for reading, and if you like what you read, please comment below or share it with your friends. Don’t forget to follow me on Facebook and Twitter for new post updates, and follow me on Instagram for all the amazing fashion, beauty and life style products that I will share with you. Of course, don’t forget to check out my Instagram stories daily to know me better as a person. Finally, don’t forget to follow me on YouTube for my fashion, beauty and life style videos. Have a great day and see you soon!

|TODAY’S LINKUP PARTY:|


Grace
http://colorandgrace.com occasionally receives vendor/ brand sponsorships for mentioning their products and services.

Life After Loss || How we met #2

“How did you guys meet?” This is probably the most frequent question I have been asked about my late husband and myself. I have to say, it was kind of unlikely for us to meet. He was American and lived in Michigan, I am Chinese and lived in Shanghai. Physically, it is almost impossible to meet. But then, at that very important day and time, our paths crossed.

Life After Loss || How we met #2

This is the second part of this story, read the first part here before you continue.;)

Life After Loss || How we met #2

Remember, at that moment I knew almost zero English, so my best friend and my client were translating for me during the conversation with these 3 guys. You know the instinct that every women has which tells us if a guy is interested in us? The slim guy who sat right next to me was staring at me for a long time and making me very uncomfortable. Suddenly, I felt someone’s arm around my waist. My first reaction was to push the hand away from me. The hand turned out to belong to the slim American guy. I was not sure how to handle it. Was it just a common American gesture? Was I being super rude? Before I had the chance to think more, his hand was on my waist, AGAIN! I turned around and he was just giving me a big flirting smile.

Life After Loss || How we met #2

I was very angry. What was this? Who do you think I am? No one would dare to do that in my own culture. I was being polite and now he was just given an inch, and wanted a mile. I pushed his hand away again and stood up. I told my partner and my client I was leaving. They both left with me. On the way out, my parter told me, “You should see the look on his face!” I was like, do I really care? I was already being very polite by not slapping him.

Life After Loss || How we met #2

My partner joked a lot after this incident. She was the type of girl that most Chinese consider a beauty; tall, slim, pale skin with a beautiful face. Wherever we went, she was always the center of attention and there were many men wanting to talk to her. I was just a girl that no one ever noticed, but I was totally fine with it and I was ok earning everything in my life by working hard. My friend even said one time we could be best friends for many years because I was never jealous of her. Anyway, it was the only time that someone hit on me, not her. I seriously didn’t take this American guy hitting on me as a compliment.

Life After Loss || How we met #2

A few days later, my partner suddenly asked me “Do you remember the other American guy with us last week?” “Sort of. Why?” “He wants to know your contact info.” I was like, what is wrong with those American guys? “No!!” I answered. She looked at me and said “Do you want to learn English?” She always knew how to persuade me. Yup, I do, very much! I felt embarrassed for not knowing English that day and I did want to learn more. “But what if the other American guy is also a jerk?” “Just give him your email, he can’t climb over the internet to harm you.” “Fine.”

Life After Loss || How we met #2

The other American guy and I started our pen pal journey. It took me at least two hours to write an email to him in English by using a dictionary. He was always very patient with my painful grammar and confusing sentences. Oddly, he got me. He understood me very well. And I understood him! We had many deep conversations about life and I realized that I couldn’t wait to receive his email every other day. I still didn’t think much about him because he was much older than me, he was not Chinese, he was not the type of guy that I usually like… But the more time I spent with him, the more I realized, underneath this overweight middle aged American man, was the soul I had been searching for and waiting for my whole life.

Life After Loss || How we met #2

You can read all the Life After Loss series here and Living with Cancer series here.

Life After Loss || How we met #2

Photo credit: Grace Liang

Thank you for reading, and if you like what you read, please comment below or share it with your friends. Don’t forget to follow me on Facebook and Twitter for new post updates, and follow me on Instagram for all the amazing fashion, beauty and life style products that I will share with you. Of course, don’t forget to check out my Instagram stories daily to know me better as a person. Finally, don’t forget to follow me on YouTube for my fashion, beauty and life style videos. Have a great day and see you soon!

|TODAY’S LINKUP PARTY:|


Grace
http://colorandgrace.com occasionally receives vendor/ brand sponsorships for mentioning their products and services.

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