Category Archives: Life after Loss

Life After Loss – Learning to Live Alone

Life After Loss – Learning to Live Alone

Before my husband passed away, I broke down many times because I highly doubted that I could live without him. He was my soul mate, my best friend and he was my everything, literally. He was my driver because driving makes me very nervous. He was my cook because with a full time job and almost full time blogging, I barely had time to eat. He was the bag carrier when I was shopping and he did the laundry, vacuumed the house, did the grocery shopping…He did just about everything so I could focus on my job and my dream.

Life after loss Learning to live alone

Yes, I was very lucky and I was so spoiled! But the result was I am almost handicapped when it comes to basic life skills. After my man passed away, I had to learn how to fill up my gas tank because he had always taken care of it. I learned how to order food and use a drive through. I even learned how to write a check. After two weeks of the recycling guys refusing to take mine, I learned how to properly break down boxes and separate the paper from the plastics.

Life after loss Learning to live alone

I know, it sounds ridiculous but it was the reality for me the last 3 months. I am a fast learner and now everything is under control. πŸ™‚ I cook myself a very health breakfast every morning. I pack healthy snacks for myself everyday. I drive everywhere by myself with my GPS. I pay bills on time and have never run out of gas. πŸ˜‰ I went to Hawaii by myself and now just booked a Paris trip. I learned how to deal with the pool repair people, the roof people, the lawn people, the plumber…I am pretty proud with the results of my bargaining skills. The roof people saw my shoe collection, so it made it pretty hard, but I won. πŸ˜‰

Life after loss Learning to live alone

I am very lucky that my step-daughter and her fiancΓ© visit me almost every weekend. They have done so much for me, everything from cooking delicious dinners, pulling the weeds in my stubborn backyard, taking my blog photos, proofreading my posts, driving me to some fashion events, to helping me understand financial or medical files. They even changed out my kitchen faucet (I discovered my step-daughter gets the same language as my husband when things don’t go right, it must run in the family πŸ˜‰ )…But I know, they have their own life and I need to learn more how to handle everything by myself.

Life after loss Learning to live alone

All the physical things are easy to learn and to adapt to. The hardest part is the absence of my husbands love and his companionship. It took me a long time to get used to eating alone. I still hate it, but I am doing it. My husband and I used to talk a lot about everything. It seemed we always had so much to talk and giggle about. But now I don’t have him to share with my day and my feelings with. So I talk to family and friends more often. Sometimes I talk to myself too… hey, sometimes I just need an experts advice (or so my husband used to say) πŸ˜‰ It is hard after a long working day walking in to an empty house (I am not ready for a pet yet. I know what you are thinking. My two granddogs visit every weekend though!) To fix this, the first thing I do when I’m home is turn on my music.

Life after loss Learning to live alone

Anyway, it is just the beginning for me learning to live alone. I know I still have a looooong way to go. One step at a time, that is all it takes. I started buying myself flowers. I also cooked more dinners for myself. I can’t wait to redecorate my house during my summer break to change things up a bit. I plan to host some dinner parties again this summer as well. This house used to be a fun house. I’m determined that this tradition will continue. πŸ™‚

Life after loss Learning to live alone

Photos credited: Ashley Buck.

Thank you for reading, and if you like what you read, please comment below or share it with your friends. Don’t forget to follower me on FaceBook and Twitter for new post updates, and follow me on Instagram for all the amazing fashion, beauty and life style products that I will share with you, of course don’t forget to check out my Instagram story daily to know me better as a person. Finally don’t forget to follow me on YouTube for my fashion, beauty and life style videos. Have a great day and see you soon!

|TODAY’S LINKUP PARTY:|


Grace

http://colorandgrace.com occasionally receives vendor/ brand sponsorships for mentioning their products and services.

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Life After Loss – Ten Years in America

Life After Loss – Ten Years in America

April 19th – it is just a normal day for most of you, but for me, it is a life changing date that I probably will remember forever. Ten years ago, on that day, I came to America and started my new life in Michigan. When I stepped out of the airport, I was shocked. I couldn’t read any signs on the road and I couldn’t understand anything others were saying. I was totally lost. But I knew I had my man and he would be my bridge to this whole new world. As long as I had him, I was not afraid.

Life after loss ten years in America

My man and I met in Shanghai. I knew no English and he only could say “hi,” “goodbye,” “thank you,” and “beer” in Chinese (this may or may not be an improvement over my stepdaughter who to this day knows “melon”, “watermelon,” “cantaloupe,” and “hi”). Through body language and a handy dictionary, we felt we had known each other for our whole lives. We knew what each other was thinking and we were always so happy to be together. So 10 years ago, I gave up my family, my career, my friends, and my life in Shanghai and came here to marry my man. But now he was gone. As you can imagine, I was quite blue a few days prior April 19th this year. I was not sure what I wanted to do on that day. I wanted to be happy and celebrate this special day, but I really wanted to do it with him, just like the past 9 years.

Life after loss ten years in America

Traditionally, my husband and I always go to a Mexican restaurant to celebrate. You may ask why a Mexican restaurant? Why not a Chinese or American restaurant? It has to go back 10 years ago on 4/19. After 30+ hours of flights from China, I was super tired, and maybe a little grumpy too.;) My man knew I would not like the American Chinese food and I was not a fan of any western food at that time either. He really wanted to find something that I could enjoy, so he came up with a great idea. He thought since Chinese and Mexicans both like rice, I must like Mexican food. πŸ˜‰ By the way, in China, Mexican food is very rare and I only had Taco Bell before in Shanghai. I can honestly tell you, the dinner my first day was a disaster. It was so bad, in fact, I was worried that I may starve to death in this country. Anyway, we often laughed at that day and every year we eat Mexican food to celebrate my first day in America.

Life after loss ten years in America

This year the evening before 4/19, I was quite sad, but I didn’t want to cry because I was going to see Stacy London the next day. I really didn’t want big, puffy eyes for that important day. When I was working on my computer, suddenly my calendar popped up and said “Tomorrow Grace came to America for 10 years”. It was the reminder my man set on his phone and we shared our calendar. This finally triggered my tears. I cried for about an hour. I was so angry at whoever is responsible for taking my man away from me. Why me? Why him? Why us? I was also very sad because he would be so proud of me of for getting the chance to meet with Stacy London.

Life after loss ten years in America

I posted my 10 years anniversary on my social media early that morning on April 19th. I was surprised to see there were a lot of people telling me congrats. I was like, “what can I be congratulated about?” It was a very sad day for me because of my husband ‘s departure. Later that day, I finally realized, yes, it is a day that I need to celebrate, even without him. For an individual human being, I did achieve a lot in the last decade. I found my true love and got married, had my first house, learned English, learned how to drive, learned American culture, got my own family, got my teaching certificate, got a full time teaching job, became a blogger and a TV co-host… and although now my man passed away, I am still holding my head up high and chasing my fashion dream.

Life after loss ten years in America

My 10th anniversary of moving to America turned out to be one of the greatest days of my life. I hung out with Stacy London for the whole afternoon. You can read all the details here. I also met a new friend, Inez, who is a fellow blogger in Michigan and later we went to my favorite Mexican restaurant for dinner. We were talking about our lives and sipping margaritas. Life is still great!

10 years down, more great years to come!

Life after loss ten years in America

Photo credits: Ashley Buck.

Thank you for reading, and if you like what you read, please comment below or share it with your friends. Don’t forget to follower me on FaceBook and Twitter for new post updates, and follow me on Instagram for all the amazing fashion, beauty and life style products that I will share with you, of course don’t forget to check out my Instagram story daily to know me better as a person. Finally don’t forget to follow me on YouTube for my fashion, beauty and life style videos. Have a great day and see you soon!

|TODAY’S LINKUP PARTY:|


Grace

http://colorandgrace.com occasionally receives vendor/ brand sponsorships for mentioning their products and services.

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