Tag Archives: Life after Loss

Life After Loss Finding New Balance in My Life

Life After Loss Finding New Balance in My Life

A few days ago, one of my students told me that she doesn’t like math class because she is not good at it. It suddenly speaks to me. There are a lot of times that we don’t like something, not because it is not interesting, but simply because we are not good at it.

Life After Loss Finding New Balance of My Life

This sentiment totally corresponds with where I am regarding dating, both in person and online. I know many of you are curious about this topic. I can honestly tell you, there is nothing going on currently. There is nothing happening. I just simply opened the door for the possibility of dating, but I really suck at it.

Life After Loss Finding New Balance of My Life

I thought since I had a wonderful relationship with my late husband, I will know how to date. It’ll be super easy!! This theory is SO NOT TRUE. I don’t know how to flirt, especially online. I also don’t know how to play dating games. I felt horrible about myself after I read many articles about WHAT NOT TO DO when you are starting to online date. So currently, I am taking a break until I learn more and feel more comfortable.

Life After Loss Finding New Balance of My Life

On another note, my grieving process is still not done. This past Saturday was my father-in-law’s 95th birthday party. Both on the way to the party and back home I was crying. My late husband was the youngest of four siblings. All of them call him the baby brother. He used to say that he had great genes from his family because everyone is quite healthy and living a long life. This great gene was the last piece of hope we counted on after we found out he had a very rare type of cancer. Now everyone was here to celebrate Dad’s 95 year birthday, except for his youngest child.

Life After Loss Finding New Balance of My Life

That night, I went to meet a photographer friend for an upcoming photoshoot. He mentioned how much he wished he could do something to save his family member who is dying from cancer. My eyes instantly started watering. I was trying very hard to not cry, especially in public, but it made me realize again these types of moments will never stop. Something will just suddenly trigger those thoughts and make me sad when I least expect it.

Life After Loss Finding New Balance of My Life

I don’t mind being sad or tired, but I really don’t like the feeling of not being at peace. The dating tryout had brought out so many emotions and doubts for me. So after taking a short break, I found a new balance in my life. It is time for me to really shake things up with my blogging and hopefully I can make it into a full time job soon!

Life After Loss Finding New Balance of My Life

You can read all Life After Loss series here and Living with Cancer series here.

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Photo credit: Grace Liang/Siham

Thank you for reading, and if you like what you read, please comment below or share it with your friends. Don’t forget to follow me on Facebook and Twitter for new post updates, and follow me on Instagram for all the amazing fashion, beauty and life style products that I will share with you. Of course, don’t forget to check out my Instagram stories daily to know me better as a person. Finally, don’t forget to follow me on YouTube for my fashion, beauty and life style videos. Have a great day and see you soon!

|TODAY’S LINKUP PARTY:|


Grace

http://colorandgrace.com occasionally receives vendor/ brand sponsorships for mentioning their products and services.

Life After Loss Opening Up To A New Chapter Of My Life

Life After Loss Opening Up To A New Chapter Of My Life

When two people really love each other, there will not be any topics that are not touchable. Before my late husband passed away, we had covered so many things that I needed his input and help with. One of them was about my love life in the future.

Life After Loss Open Up To A New Chapter Of My Life

I still remember that day. We came back from my late husband’s hospital and his doctor just gave us a new estimate for how many days of his life were left. It was just getting shorter and shorter after every chemo or radiation failed. We were holding hands and sitting in our usual spots on our conversation couch. I was crying and he was trying to calm me down. I don’t remember what exactly he said but he made me laugh with tears in my eyes. He always had the ability to make me laugh. I was looking at him and said “You are a jerk! Where can I find a great husband like you again?” He was smiling at me and said “You are right. You probably will not find a guy like me. But, you will find a different love.”

Life After Loss Open Up To A New Chapter Of My Life

Before my dad passed away many years ago, he told my mom “Don’t marry again because you are my woman.” Before my man passed away, he told me “I hope someone will love you as much as I did. You are the best wife and you deserve to be happy.” What a difference! It felt so good that my man gave me permission to enjoy my life even after he is gone.

Life After Loss Open Up To A New Chapter Of My Life

Although many people have asked me when I will start to date, I had never really thought about it until last month. Before our marriage, I had never went out with a man other than my husband in America. My man was the only American guy I have ever dated, so I have no clue about how to date in this country. In fact, I am very rusty about dating period. I talked to a few friends about it, but I quickly ran away from this topic because talking about it was already making me sad. I was crying and telling myself that I am very happy being single for now.

Life After Loss Open Up To A New Chapter Of My Life

After hiding in myself for a while, I realized that I do want to love and be loved again. The pure love and happy marriage I had with my man were just too good to give up. But the idea of dating is very scary. I have heard so many horrible stories about dating some weirdo or jerks from my single friends. On another hand, what if my family become upset and think I am dating too early?

Life After Loss Open Up To A New Chapter Of My Life

Luckily I received blessings from a few family members and a lot of support from my friends and even fans. It is totally out of my control when I can find or meet another true love, or soulmate, again. 3 years, 5 years, or maybe the rest of my life. But I am not going to settle until I find the right one. I waited for 30 years to meet my late husband, I am ok to wait again. Most people may believe the chance of finding a soulmate twice in a lifetime is almost zero. But I look at it this way – I have seen what true love looks like, so I am more experienced to find it/build it again. 😉 I am ready to open myself up to a new chapter of my life. It’s scary, but exciting at the same time. I will be very careful, but I know I may still get hurt until I find that one person that will never make me guess, doubt, be upset, or sad. Good luck for me and anyone out there who is re entering the dating world.

Life After Loss Open Up To A New Chapter Of My Life

You can read all Life After Loss series here and Living with Cancer series here.

|SHOP MY LOOK:|

Photo credit: Grace Liang/Ashley Buck

Thank you for reading, and if you like what you read, please comment below or share it with your friends. Don’t forget to follow me on Facebook and Twitter for new post updates, and follow me on Instagram for all the amazing fashion, beauty and life style products that I will share with you. Of course, don’t forget to check out my Instagram stories daily to know me better as a person. Finally, don’t forget to follow me on YouTube for my fashion, beauty and life style videos. Have a great day and see you soon!

|TODAY’S LINKUP PARTY:|


Grace

http://colorandgrace.com occasionally receives vendor/ brand sponsorships for mentioning their products and services.

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