Life After Loss – The First Birthday Without My Husband
The birthdays before I met my husband were sad and torturous. I wished somebody would say “Happy Birthday” to me at least. My Mom and Dad never remembered my birthdays. Now, as you can imagine, I hated birthdays. I honestly don’t even remember how I spent my 30th birthday. I guess It was just another day, or maybe worse than a normal day. 😉 After I met my husband, he was so angry that I was treated that way. He said he will make up for all the hard times I had and from now on, it will be only good times!
He did follow through.
My husband planned a surprise birthday party in Shanghai for me, but my best friend told me everything beforehand. My husband was still mad at her after many years for wrecking the surprise. 😉 Anyway, I got a lot of gifts for the first time in my whole life. We had a great dinner and wonderful time that day. But above all, the most amazing feeling I got was to feel like I was worth it.
My man always made every birthday of mine very special. For my first one in America, I got more people to celebrate this special day of mine. My in-laws and sister-in-laws called me and sang Happy Birthday. My step-daughter secretly baked my first homemade birthday cake. From that moment I knew my husband not just gave me all his love, he also gave me a family that I never had.
The highlights of all those years birthday has to be my 40th birthday. This time he finally pulled off his surprise party. 😉 There were so many family and friends there when I walked in. He even had an improve comedy group involved. I certainly feel like I was the most spoiled wife in the world. 🙂
This is my first birthday without my man. I was not sure what my day would look like, or if I even wanted to celebrate it. I have to be honest with you, it turned out to be by far the funnest birthday ever! Several weeks before my birthday, my step-daughter and her fiancé had already demanded I leave that day unscheduled. Birthday morning, they came in when I was still in my bed and they cooked a delicious breakfast for me. She made me wear a sparkly birthday crown and purple glitter birthday sash and took me to two surprise activities.
The first one was pottery making. I have always want to try this but somehow just never did. The instructor had to do some quick operations to save my bowl but I am pretty happy with the result. 😉
The second activity was painting. My husband and I decided to go to Paris to celebrate if he could beat the cancer. My step-daughter picked the Eiffel Tower to paint.
Overall, the first birthday without my husband was not bad at all. My husband is not physically here with me anymore, but I see him everywhere in my life. My step-kids all love cooking and enjoying life just like him. My step-daughter always takes care of me just like him. My sister-in-laws call me or text me just like him…… The only difference now is that he is not just one person, he is in many of us who loved him dearly.
Photo credits: Ashley Buck.
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