This post is sponsored by adidas, but all the opinions are my own.
At this point, the majority of us have been quarantined at home for about 2 months. How are you doing?
Today, I want to share with you some mental health tips about quarantine at home. I will share with you six tips and one activity to help you get the best out of this time of your life! You can also watch this short video below for the simplest at home workout routines to help you stay safe and healthy! By the way, I just love this crop top, sports bra and leggings from adidas.
Tip 1: Drop the victim attitude/mindset!
There are three types of people in our life: positive and nourishing people, negative and toxic people, and everyone else who falls between positive and negative based on their own agenda and/or self-awareness. Which group type do you belong to?
For most of us, after we were quarantined for about few weeks or so, we had some time to process emotions such as shock, anger, anxiety and fear. If you notice that anger is still running your life and that the majority of the words that come out of your mouth are complaints, you may fall into the negative group of people without even noticing it. By doing these things, you have become a victim of life! No one loves to be the negative person; they just don’t know that they are being negative since our thoughts come from the subconscious mind.
We all know that pouting and crying doesn’t work. No matter how much we complain, the world will still remain on lock down and will stay that way for a while. So how can we take back control of our lives during this stressful time? I would love to share a formula with you that has changed my life: E(event)+R(response)=O(outcome). Below are some examples of how to apply E+R=O to your life.
E: I lost my late husband to cancer.
R: Made it an opportunity to rediscover who I am, find my life purpose and grow into an even better version of myself.
O: 3 years later, I have become an amazon best-selling author which has allowed me to share my stories and help others overcome their grief and any life challenges.
I had no clue if I could even survive without my late husband when he first passed away. Once I intentionally changed my attitude and mindset towards the hardships in my life, suddenly my life got unstuck and I was able to move forward. I know now that I always have a choice and that’s where I transformed myself from a victim to a victor.
Are you ready to drop the pity party yet?
E: My business is paused due to the shelter in place order.
R: I see it as an opportunity to shift everything online.
O: My long-term business goal has always been to create and sell online courses that allows me more free time while helping more people access my programs worldwide. Since all of my book tours and workshops were cancelled, I now finally have time to focus on creating my online course. So, in fact, I am very excited to have time to do what I love.
What opportunities do you see in your life at this moment now? Share with us!
Activity: Give 5 different answers to finish each sentence “If I will take 5% more responsibility for my own life now, I will…”
Here are some examples:
If I will take 5% more responsibility for my own life now, I will watch the news less and spend less time reading rumors online.
If I will take 5% more responsibility for my own life now, I will go to the park to take a walk at least 3 times a week.
If I will take 5% more responsibility for my own life now, I will go to bed before midnight.
If I will take 5% more responsibility for my own life now, I will read a self-help book.
If I will take 5% more responsibility for my own life now, I will surround myself online with only positive and nourishing people. Like ME, right?
Share with us what you will do to take 5% more responsibility for your own life now. Leave a comment below so we can all learn from each other. Let’s all use this time to make something good out of this COVID-19 pandemic and truly live in the present moment!
Ok, now that we have shifted our mindset, it’s time to take care of the grief our whole society is experiencing. When most people think about grief and coping, they think about losing a loved one, but in fact, we are going through the same emotional process when our lives suddenly change. Today, we are going to focus on how to cope with our loss of a normal life. Later, we will circle back to talk about how to cope with the loss of a loved one.
I have heard many parents and kids mention their sadness about missing out on events such as prom, graduation, and also for the interruption of the many traditions in our lives due to the COVID-19 pandemic.
Currently, society as a whole is coping together with or without you noticing.
We are all currently going through the five stages of grief:
1. Denial. For example, you may have found it hard to believe that the COVID-19 pandemic is currently happening here in America.
2. Anger. Perhaps you have felt anger that you cannot get away from the COVID-19 pandemic.
3. Bargaining. In exchange for the virus disappearing, you promise to be more grateful.
4. Depression. Someone in your social circle recently had a friend die from the COVID-19 virus. You start to become worried and depressed that your loved ones may eventually die from the virus because they have to make a trip to the grocery store or perhaps, they are an essential worker that needs to leave the house every day. You may start to feel hopeless because you don’t have the power to protect yourself or them from contracting the COVID-19 virus.
5. Acceptance. For me, my belief in God tells me that when it is my time to leave this earth, or time for my loved ones to leave, I will accept it because it will be our time to go back home to God. All I can do now is live in the present moment, to REALLY enjoy every minute of my life here on Earth and to say I LOVE YOU to my loved ones. I will also appreciate eating a simple meal, to really taste it and appreciate it, and to also breath in the crisp spring air while I still can breathe, Acceptance is living fully, right now, and having no regrets if you were to die right now.
If you find yourself quietly crying in bed, binge watching TV, starting to drink more, doing a lot more online shopping, eating more food, or suddenly you start shouting angry words into the air, you are not crazy, you are just going through grief now.
Anyone facing a particularly traumatic or life-altering event will need time to go through this process. It is all ok and normal. Here are some tips on how to process grief.
Tip 1: Allow yourself to be emotional.
Don’t bottle up your emotions in order to show the world how tough you are and pretend that nothing is bothering you. Many people say that they only want to be happy but it’s impossible to always be happy. Human beings come with a whole range of emotions that fit on an emotional scale with 22 different levels. Emotions are just a guidance system to protect us from danger. So, when sadness appears, let that emotion fully come out and learn from the message your sadness is trying to tell you. When we are mourning a loss, this is the way to let go of that loss. If we don’t talk about our emotions, these strong, unprocessed emotions will remain stuck in our bodies and cause physical and emotional illnesses like headaches, sore neck and even cancer. SO, PLEASE TALK ABOUT YOUR EMOTIONS, or write about them. Writing blog posts was the best way for me to cope with my sadness after I lost my late husband.
Tip 2: Letting go of the things we think our life SHOULD be.
So many of us are struggling with how our lives are currently. We keep thinking that life should still be like it was before. There should be many cars on the road, many people on the street, many people in the stores, and that we should be able to go out to eat, go on vacations, and be able to visit family and friends. After all, that is what a good life should be right? I totally agree with this idea and it is the way I prefer to live too. However, does this fit our current reality? Since the answer is no, then we have a choice to make. We can either keep holding on to what should be, and be angry and keep complaining, or we drop the SHOULD, and make the best out of this life we are currently experiencing. We are living through a historical moment in human history and think of all the stories you will have to tell your grandchildren later on!
I used to believe that my mom should love me. I now believe that because she didn’t love me, I have become this amazing woman full of self-love and love for others. I used to believe that there was no way I would survive after my late husband passed away. Now I know that I am not just ok but that I am now living my dream life! For those who will miss this year’s prom and graduation, just believe something good may come out of it. Right now, we just don’t know what that is yet! Just believe and you will be pleasantly surprised!
Tip 3: Embrace your new normal and be grateful!
There is a story about my parents that dates back to the year 1960. During this time, the entire country of China had no food and people were starving to death. My father had told us that he would see many dead bodies that were just dumped in the ditch on both sides on the road every day he walked to school. There was no grass on the ground or bark on the trees because people would eat anything they could possibly find.
Now, let’s do a quick activity. Look around where you are at. Can you find 5 things that you are feeling blessed to have?
- I am still alive!
- I can finally wear my pjs all day long along with no bra or makeup.
- Food in my fridge.
- Internet service that allows me to stay in contact with my family, friends and the world.
- Clean water to drink.
Share with us what you feel most grateful for!
Tip 4: Live in the present moment!
Since the COVID-19 outbreak, I have lost a total of a few years of income to the stock market. I remember one day I saw the number was going up and I was quite happy. I thought that it would be great if it grew back to what it was before the outbreak. I started to think about how much happier I would be when that would happen. Then I started to ask myself “was I very happy or even happier when I had so much money before the outbreak happened”? The answer was NO. Before the outbreak, I didn’t even think about the money and was worried about other things. I worried about why my new business was not taking off, why I couldn’t get over the hurt and pain from my childhood abuse, and why I resisted launching my online course.
Did you see what happened there? We often complain that when we lose something, we would be happy again if we got that thing back. The fact is, if we get back what we lost, we would feel happy for a short period of time but eventually we take it for granted again and find other things to complain about and wish for something else to be better. Does this mean we are greedy? Not really. It just means that we either live in the past or future but not in the present moment. When we complain about our quarantined life now, we are either living in the past (hoping everything would just go back to normal) or living in the future (I can’t wait for this COVID-19 virus to go away so I can live again). If this is the case, are you truly living right now?
Living in the present moment is a sign of acceptance. It means doing the things we need to do to take care of ourselves and our loved ones during this new normal and also accepting the new way this world runs now. It means acknowledging our emotions first and then setting aside anger and depression to find a way to have fun in this new normal again!
What fun will you have in this new normal life?
Thank you for reading! Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram. Have a great day and see you soon!
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