Gracefully Grieving

The GOLDEN Formula to Take Back Control of Your Grief!

This GOLDEN formula has totally transformed my life. It has helped me overcome poverty, family abuse, domestic violence, moving to a foreign country, and losing my husband to cancer. This formula helped me to live a joyful life again and it will change your life if you apply it too!

Are you ready to suffer less and heal faster? Here you go!


E represents the EVENT, such as a loss of your job, divorce, loss of a loved one, etc.
R represents the RESPONSE, not the reaction. The difference between a response and a reaction is that a reaction is what you instantly do right after something happens without thinking. A response is the behavior or action that you choose after you have given it some thought.
O represents the OUTCOME.

Analyzing this simple formula, we can see that we have no power over the EVENT, because it has already happened (for example, the loss of my late husband) and we have no time machine to go back and change it. In fact, I really wished I had a time machine because I have begged, yelled and bargained to bring him back. You have probably tried similar things too but It didn’t work of course! This took place a few months after I lost my late husband, after a one hour routine crying spell over his ashes. I was so tired of being miserable. I decided to change my reaction to a response so I could intentionally save myself from my misery and that was the turning point of my life. Now, 3 years after I lost my late husband, I am able to live my dream life again!

Did you see that in our lives, how we RESPOND is where our power lies? Only our RESPONSE can determine if we can make a positive OUTCOME from a negative event.

Losing my late husband was definitely a non-changeable negative event. If I never intentionally chose my response and just reacted to whatever happened to me, my outcome would also be negative. Most likely I would become depressed, feel sorry for myself, and be stuck in grief for years.

So it all comes down to one choice: your response. Now let’s use this golden formula to help you experience less suffering and faster healing. Here are 3 questions that will help you use the golden formula. Write them down and seriously think about the answers.

The EVENT is our loved one is gone forever!

Q #1: The outcome: Feel better.
What response can you choose that will make you feel better? I made the choice to take care of my mind and body. I talked about my emotions in order to process my grief and ate healthier and exercised regularly. What will be your RESPONSE in order to feel better?

Q #2: The outcome: Still feel loved without your deceased loved one.
What response can you choose that will make you still feel loved without your deceased loved one? I made the choice to learn how to love myself. Boy, it wasn’t easy. When I was doubting myself, which quite often, I started to learn how to talk to myself like my late husband used to and to remind myself of how capable and lovable I was. I learned to say I LOVE YOU each morning and night to myself. What will be your RESPONSE to still feel loved?

Q #3: The outcome: See hope again!
What response can you choose that can help you see hope again? I had no clue what my life would look like or if I will be ever happy again, but I made the choice to honor my late husband’s love by learning how to enjoy my life again without him. All he wanted was to make me happy, so now, I made myself happy to honor him. What will be your RESPONSE to see hope again?

I can’t wait to hear your responses!

Thank you for reading! If you like what you read, please comment below, or share it with your friends. Don’t forget to follow me on my Facebook page Gracefully Grieving, Instagram and LinkedIn account for more practical tips on how to suffer less and heal faster! Would love to find out more about your own built-in healing powers? Opt-in to this free webinar to learn more.


Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional!

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Christ follower, wife, mom, and two time best selling author. Don't preach the message, become the message!

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