How do you know when you are ready to date again after loss?
Since marrying my best friend back in November, there have been a lot of people who have asked me this question.
Below are my answers. This advice also applies to anyone who have gone through a divorce as well.
1. I strongly suggest you hold off on dating until you clearly know who you are again. Whether you have been divorced or widowed, you are facing an identity crisis.
Without rediscovering who you are after losing your old lifestyle, it will be very hard to know who will be a good fit for you in your new life. This means that you need to spend a lot of time by yourself. In other words, you need to date yourself. Find a quiet place to communicate and really get to know yourself. If you can’t fall in love with yourself, it is a sign that you are not ready to love others in a healthy way yet.
2. Ask yourself if you’re dating for the right reasons. Are you just longing for someone to love? Do you always feel lonely by yourself? Do you need someone else to make you happy? If you answered yes to these question, you are not yet ready. Love is everywhere in our lives and it comes in many different shapes and forms. If only romantic love can satisfy you, you have so much work you need to do in order to understand yourself first.
And when you are truly healed to a certain level, you don’t feel lonely at all when you are alone. You can be alone for many years but never feel lonely. The most common misunderstanding with relationships is that you need to find someone to make you happy. The true fact is we need to take 100% responsibility for our own happiness.
You may ask “Why do any of us need a partner?” While we don’t really need someone, the right partner is just like the icing on a cake. The right partner is not needed for the survival but will add more joy to our lives.
Overall, make sure to heal yourself not just from your loss but also from your past traumas so you will have more room and ability to handle the love that comes from a wonderful new relationship.
If you are planning to enter the dating phase of your life soon, I have been offering some FREE but very practical resources to help you heal yourself first. If you missed these FREE videos, make sure you click on the link below and watch the replay of my FREE 6-part video series. https://gracefullygrieving.com/free-videos
Would love to REALLY suffer less and heal faster? You can sign up to my Gracefully Grieving Energy Healing Online Class now: https://gracefullygrieving.com/healing
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional!