Category Archives: Life after Loss

Life After Loss Love Is In Small Things

Life After Loss Love Is In Small Things

Everyone who has ever known my late husband and I know how much we love each other. So I often receive questions like “How do you know if a man really loves you?” I am not a relationship expert, but I do believe love is in the small things.

Life After Loss Love Is In Small Things

Many years ago we were quite poor so we dined out very rarely. My man and I are both are foodies. We often talked about the delicious food we tasted when we traveled around the world. One day, my man came home from work with a leftover box. He couldn’t wait to show me what was inside. I opened it up and it was risotto!!! It is one of my favorite foods! Since we traveled to Italy, I had been craving for it for a long time. My man told me he had a work meeting with some customers and they took him for lunch. He was very happy when he saw the risotto on the menu. “Did you order two of them?” I knew he loves it very much too. “No, but I had some and here are yours.” Several years later, when my man took me to that same restaurant, I noticed how small the portion of the risotto is and I suddenly realized that he maybe only had one or two bites of the risotto that day. It turned out he only ate the side salad and saved the whole risotto for me. He said “I love seeing you happy and enjoying your favorite food!”

Life After Loss Love Is In Small Things

When I was in middle school, my older brother once taught me to ride a motorcycle. I was doing quite well at the beginning, but when we were on the real busy road I panicked. My brother had to jump over to stop me from hitting others. I didn’t kill anyone, but after that I was quite afraid to operate any moving vehicles. In 2008 I decided to get my teaching certificate so I enrolled in a one year evening program at our local university. At that time, I had just passed my driving test and got my license. My late husband worked very far from our house. Every day he drove 100 miles round trip to work. He knew how much I hated driving, so he planned his work ahead so he could go home a little early to drive me to my college. It was another two hour round trip drive for him. When I was in the class, he went out to find some food and bring it back to me when I was on my break. We sat outside of the classroom eating our dinner together. After that, he just waited till my class ended and then took me home. Two times a week and it lasted the whole year. He was never late or complained about how much trouble I caused. He said “I am very proud of you because you work so hard and I am very happy to be here with you.”

Life After Loss Love Is In Small Things

My man often told me that he loved taking care of me. He said he felt good when he could. Everything he did for me, he never thought they were burdens, he took them as joys. He was not just good at saying how much he loved me, he really was good at showing his love by actions.

Life After Loss Love Is In Small Things

Love is all in the small things. Those small things can show if you are important to him.

Life After Loss Love Is In Small Things

You can read all Life After Loss series here and Living with Cancer series here.

Life After Loss Love Is In Small Things

You can read all Life After Loss series here and Living with Cancer series here.

|SHOP MY LOOK:|

Photo credit: Grace Liang/Ashley Buck

Thank you for reading, and if you like what you read, please comment below or share it with your friends. Don’t forget to follow me on Facebook and Twitter for new post updates, and follow me on Instagram for all the amazing fashion, beauty and life style products that I will share with you. Of course, don’t forget to check out my Instagram stories daily to know me better as a person. Finally, don’t forget to follow me on YouTube for my fashion, beauty and life style videos. Have a great day and see you soon!

|TODAY’S LINKUP PARTY:|


Grace

https://colorandgrace.com occasionally receives vendor/ brand sponsorships for mentioning their products and services.

Life After Loss || Trying To Be Positive

Life After Loss Trying To Be Positive

Being positive became more difficult after I lost my man. Sometimes I do get angry and yell to the air “What the heck? What did I do wrong that caused me to be punished like this?”

Life After Loss Trying To Be Positive

Life is not always fair, totally. My mom never wanted me and it still hurts me today. Growing up struggling with food, clothes and shelter made me a person who never can relax because I don’t feel safe. My mom and dad had an arranged marriage, and they fought almost everyday. My dad beat my mom and my mom would run away, leaving my brother and I at home, cleaning up the broken dishes my dad threw and eating whatever food we could find. I hated my life and promised myself I would not live like that someday.

Life After Loss Trying To Be Positive

Life, to an extent, is also totally fair. For an adult, we live the life that is the result of many of the choices we have made. I moved to Shanghai to run away a year after I graduated. I was so poor at the beginning – no job, no family or friends, and no money. But 3 years later, I was a HR manager and finally settled in that big city. I made a lot of good friends and later I met my would be husband. Fast forward many years, I married to my true love and finally built the life that I had been dreaming of since I was very young – a loving family and many joyful happy moments.

Life After Loss Trying To Be Positive

In a lot of people’s mind, I am such a poor lady. After many years of struggle, I finally got 10 years of peaceful life. Now I’ve lost my husband. Some even show more pity because I don’t have my own kids. They often ask, what are you going to do now? Go back to China? My dear mom is always such a supportive person, “It doesn’t matter how much you try, it is your fate. Now you became a widow even younger than me. You should have just accepted your fate and married a local guy as I wanted many years ago, look what you have done to yourself.”

Life After Loss Trying To Be Positive

Everything has two sides. I learned I have to choose to see the positive side. Those very difficult early days of my life did not just make me feel unsafe for my entire life, but it also taught me to work hard to get the life I want. My ill-functioning family didn’t give me the love and support that every child deserved, but it made me treasure and appreciate kindness from anyone. Thus I made so many life-long friends and have a very fortunate relationship with my new family even after my late husband passed away. 10 years of normal and peaceful life is too short and yes, I deserve to have more, but it also showed me what true love looks like and it proved that even I, coming from the ill functioning family, can still have a happy and healthy life after all.

Life After Loss Trying To Be Positive

Nobody is born to be a positive or negative person. We train ourselves into who we are today. We are our choices. I choose to be positive and to be the best self that I can.

Life After Loss Trying To Be Positive

You can read all Life After Loss series here and Living with Cancer series here.

|SHOP MY LOOK:|

Photo credit: Grace Liang/Katie Van Gorder

Thank you for reading, and if you like what you read, please comment below or share it with your friends. Don’t forget to follow me on Facebook and Twitter for new post updates, and follow me on Instagram for all the amazing fashion, beauty and life style products that I will share with you. Of course, don’t forget to check out my Instagram stories daily to know me better as a person. Finally, don’t forget to follow me on YouTube for my fashion, beauty and life style videos. Have a great day and see you soon!

|TODAY’S LINKUP PARTY:|


Grace

https://colorandgrace.com occasionally receives vendor/ brand sponsorships for mentioning their products and services.

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