How am I holding up in the darkest time of life?

There are a lot of people who said they can’t believe what I am going through my life now based on how I look, speak, and act. Yes, I am trying very, very hard to make it as normal as I can.

How am I holding up in the darkest time of life?

So how am I holding up in the darkest time of my life? I only focus on my purpose. At this moment of my life, my purpose is giving my husband the best care I can. Making sure he is comfortable, warm, clean, and protect his dignity.

How am I holding up in the darkest time of life?

I had been the most spoiled woman on earth. Before my husband was sick, I have never filled my own gas tank. He had given me the best care a man can give a women in the last decade, so I am very grateful that I have the chance to take care of him.

How am I holding up in the darkest time of life?

He is the person who let me experience the unconditional love, not even my parents. He always says he is the luckiest man because he has a wife like me. But the last few years, I kept telling him, I am the luckiest woman to marry him. He gave me a family which I never had. I am loved, cared for and respected.

How am I holding up in the darkest time of life?

I am still trying to put makeup on, to dress comfortably. Because I don’t want him to feel I am giving up on myself, or on us. It is not the end of the world yet, because we are still together, holding hands and smiling at each other.

How am I holding up in the darkest time of life?

All videos and photos if not credited otherwise, are by Robert Buck and Grace Liang.

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    1. Thank you so much Shelbee! We went back to the ER this morning again and he will stay at the hospital for a few days. I think I am going to break down soon. But after a big crying, I will pick myself up again and just keep going.

  1. You get through this because you have no alternative. And because one day you will look back and cherish every moment, never mind how difficult it is now. And yes, prioritizing and focusing on whatever really matters is not only necessary but also ‘easy’ because you only have this moment, you can’t put off doing things with him. But I also hope you have people around you who let you show your darker moods and fears and support you. It is ‘easy’ to be strong when you have no alternative. But you also need to take a break from being strong every once in a while, if only for a moment.
    Collect those happy memories now, Grace, nothing is more important than that.

    1. Thank you so much Tiina! Yes, I do have some people in my life that helping us a lot. I feel I may have to call those friends soon to let those stress out. We went back to the ER again this morning and it is so hard to watching him suffering.

  2. Grace, I was crying as I read this. The love that you and your husband have is so rare and beautiful that some will never experience. You are in my thoughts… Sending you both lots of hugs and love. Lisa XO

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