This post is partnered with Natori. But all opinions are my own.
I used to hate my body and dislike myself for a long time. The memory of my mom yelling at me saying how ugly I am and showing me her discussed face seemed to haunt me for a long time. Then I turned 13 years old, my period came and my boobs started to grow. I got yelled at for being a dirty women now. My mom was super ashamed of my body because my boobs were bigger than the average Chinese girls. She made me hunch over so I can make my boobs appear smaller. She yelled at me if she saw I was running, “Are you trying to get those men’s attention by bouncing your boobs?! You are embarrassing me!”. She even made me wear a very tight corset to push my chest flat.
I am 45 years old now and I am still working on correcting the habit of hunching over my back. Luckily, after many years of healing, I have overcome all the shame of my body and truly love myself. I understand my mom was being so abusive because that was how she was raised. I have forgiven her now because I know that is the only way I can free myself. I will not allow myself to drown in the pain. I know I am enough and I celebrate being who I am. A petite woman with a big heart and giant dream to help others become the best version of themselves.
In modern American culture, the definition of a beautiful woman has some unspoken standards influenced by magazines and television shows, things like they should be a size 2, have an hourglass figure and a D cup. Nowadays, women are swiping through social media seeing all the perfect lives that others have. Once again, as society quickly shaped the false sense of the ideal woman and ideal life, young girls and teenagers are under the impression that they must be perfect to be good enough. They are so stressed with their body, their skin, their hair and so depressed why they are not perfect like all other girls seem like on social media.
People often ask me, how did you grow your large social media following? My answer is always Being Real. When others try to create a Perfect life on social media, I share my real life stories, the good, the bad and the ugly ones without filters. I don’t mind presenting myself without makeup sometimes, less covered up like in this post to make a point. Because being real is more powerful than being perfect.
Why? Because perfection doesn’t exist, it sets us up for failure every time. The desire to be perfect burdens many people and ironically dooms them to unhappiness. At first, we might think that trying to be perfect is desirable. But perfection suggests a state of flawlessness, without any defects. Perfectionism is an extreme form of control. Besides the need to not be flawed, defective, or have any shortcomings, another element of perfectionism is all or nothing. I must give my all isn’t really a bad thing, but when having to give your all means being perfect, and there’s no such thing as perfect, it can turn into… I may as well do nothing. At least if I do nothing, I haven’t really failed and I won’t feel embarrassed or humiliated. When someone pursues perfection it’s really a disguise for their insecurity. It becomes a statement that I’m not good enough just as I am. When we do that, we judge ourselves.
This body is all I have got for this lifetime. I have been taking care of it by eating healthy, going to the gym and getting more sleep. My body is nowhere near perfect but I am stepping out of my comfort zone to celebrate my body by showing my Natori bra. The beauty behind the Natori brand is that they design their bras for every shape, size, and stage in a woman’s life. Each Natori bra style is luxuriously crafted in its own unique way. I love the seamlessly combination of where East meets West, and life meets art featured in their products. The real thing that speaks to me about Natori is their passion to empower and educate women. They have been giving back to The Voice of Free, an organization to end human trafficking in the Philippine’s and The Breast Cancer Research Foundation. They also are a force of this international organization called I Support The Girls, to give homeless woman feminine products, raise awareness and educate on homeless womans rights.
I think you all will agree that we love a brand like Natori who has a greater mission than just making money, right? What I love even more is their high quality products. My Natori Elusive Full Fit Bra has quickly became my go to bras. It’s not just supportive and comfortable, it’s also very pretty and make me feel beautiful! Today, with the great support from Natori, I make a stand to love my body, love myself and celebrate who I am as a real woman. If I can go back to the 13 year old of me, I will tell her those words: “Grace, you don’t even know how beautiful you are, your heart, your soul, your smile and your body! You are good enough, beautiful enough, brave enough and, you are enough!”
I am also asking all of you, the real women of all shapes and sizes with your unique attributes, rather than hiding your beautiful body and soul, to just celebrate who you are!
You can read all the Life After Loss series here and Living with Cancer series here and Being the Best of Me here.
Photo credit: Grace Liang/@_lettherebelight_
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|TODAY’S LINKUP PARTY:|
Grace
colorandgrace.com occasionally receives vendor/brand sponsorships for mentioning their products and services.
17 Comments
Shelbee on the Edge
Such a great post, Grace! And you look amazing in all of these photos. “Being real is more powerful than being perfect”! That will become my new mantra for sure.
Shelbee
http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com
Grace Liang
Thank you Shelbee! Im glad this post inspired you.
Denise Groulx
Grace:
If you might recall, I’m from Quebec, Canada. I’m french speaking and I’d like to translate at least part of your text as I’m sure lots of women in my province could learn and most of all relate to the experience you had when you were a young girl. If you allow me to do so, I promise I’ll be as truthful to your words as you might expect me to be. If you disagree, no harm done.
Have a great day.
Grace Liang
Denise, feel free to pass on the words!
Kate
This was such a beautiful post, and so well written. Thank you for always being real, and showing us that is alright to be ourselves. Hope you’re having a great day!!
-Kate
https://daysofkate.com/
Grace Liang
Thank you Kate! You are so sweet and I hope you have a great rest of your week!
Nancy
The blogs written by women who are real and wrote genuinely are the most interesting. And you are a amazing woman! Beautiful and strong!
Grace Liang
Thank you for the kind words. You are amazing also!
Denise Groulx
Many thanks Grace. I’ll show your text and blog to my friends as mentioned earlier today. Take care.
Gail
Your photos are beautiful Grace! Thanks for sharing your philosophy about being real in social media. It’s so important, young women’s lives are being ruined because they can’t achieve perfection all the time.
Grace Liang
Thank you Gail! That is very true!
Anna Shirley
Such a great and encouraging post, Grace. Love it!
Anna
http://www.glamadventure.com
Grace Liang
Thank you!
sassycoupleok
Grace
Such wonderful words and photos of encouragement for all women. I personally found my empowerment through social nudity. When my husband first introduced me to it I was scared for many of the reasons you mention. However after I had tried it for a day I was hooked. It was total freedom. Body types and sizes didn’t matter, there were no judgements. I’m now confident and happy being who I am.
Ms. Kim
Grace Liang
Kim, I am glad you have found that freedom! Being confident is the best thing!
Angela
I can’t believe you went through that! But thank you for sharing your experience, and with forgiveness as well – such a hard thing to do! Glad you are using your experience to share your story and fulfill your life purpose!
Angela
http://www.lenorth.com
Lauren Renee Sparks
You are gorgeous and so is that bra! I will have to check it out. Visiting you today from the good, random, fun link up. laurensparks.net