Gracefully Grieving

A Widow’s Journey—Cooking for Myself (Then and Now)

August 11, 2017 (Day 196)

“Cooking for others, for your loved ones, is pure joy. Cooking for yourself is where the true self-love begins.” – Grace Liang

I hated cooking for myself when I was young and alone in Shanghai. I didn’t even know how to cook. Seriously, I lived on carry-outs and leftovers. Most days, I would only eat two meals and some days it would be only one.

When my late husband and I were dating, he came to Shanghai to visit me. I was trying to show him that I could be a good wife. I bought a bag of frozen meals at the supermarket and cooked for him. Don’t ask for the details, just let me tell you that was the end of my cooking career. My man was a great cook, and he promised that he would cook for us from that day forward.

I tried cooking again after I moved to America to marry my man. It started about a week after I arrived, I was seriously thinking that I would end up starving to death. At that time, I really didn’t like any American food. This forced me to cook Chinese food. I guess many years of eating at restaurants helped me develop some cooking sense. Surprisingly, my cooking turned out to be quite good. I never even knew I had it in me. I guess when I cooked with love, everything turned out to be great.

Cooking for us, for our family and friends, holds some of the warmest memories of the last ten years. My late husband loved my Chinese cooking, and he was very proud of me for becoming a great cook. When I first heard the saying, “Cook up a storm,” I was laughing so hard because that was totally my style of cooking.

Usually after I cooked, our kitchen was a disaster—dirty pots and pans everywhere, the stove top covered with oil, spices, and pieces of food. I cooked well, I said nothing about cleaning.

My man was the biggest fan of my cooking. I never followed a recipe and just cooked whatever I could find in our house. He was often amazed by that. I loved watching him eat the food I cooked. His satisfied face and joyful eyes made me super happy. We often spent hours during dinner talking about our days, our thoughts, or just some silly stories.

But now, I have lost my best audience. The first four months after he passed away, I was living on carry-outs and leftovers again. If you have never lived alone, you will probably not understand that feeding yourself may be a challenge. When you are the only one eating, there’s a greater tendency not to bother cooking because it feels like it just isn’t worth it.

Cooking for thirty to forty-five minutes, eating for thirty minutes and then cleaning up for fifteen minutes, that totals about one and a half hours! In that much time, I could write a blog post or reply to some emails.

That was my old way of thinking. Now, I am all into living in the present and making every day a joyful experience. Eating three healthy meals a day has become my top priority. Cooking for others, for your loved ones, is pure joy. Cooking for yourself is where the true self-love begins.

November 29th, 2020 (3 years, 10 months, 4 days)

After living in my new house for the past two weeks, I have been cooking yummy dinners for my new husband and our kids. With this new family, I now have more people to cook for.

Cooking dinner now has also become my therapy. During this time I reflect on my day, count my blessings and talk to God.

Life is very interesting. 3 years and 10 months later I have more people to love and cook for!

By the way, there is only one day left before I launch my Gracefully Grieving Energy Healing Online Course. Make sure you are on the early bird waitlist

You can also watch all 6 FREE videos of my video series to see if my Gracefully Grieving Energy Healing process can help you suffer less and heal faster! To do so, use the following link:

I also would like to congratulate the winners of my book giveaway! I will be reaching out to the winners later to get their addresses.


Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional!

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Christ follower, wife, mom, and two time best selling author. Don't preach the message, become the message!

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